DEFINING MYSELF

I was about 16 years old when I decided I no longer wanted to let the world define who I was. I decided to be bold enough to define myself. I took a self-love journey and began to explore the reasons why I never seemed to be satisfied with just me. Why couldn't I just accept myself for who I was? Why did I feel obligated to over extend myself in order to be accepted? It was then when I realized that my self-hate stemmed from the fact that I hated my physical appearance. I was basing my self-worth on my appearance and because I felt I was considered "Ugly" I had to do more in order to gain others respect. After getting down to the hard reality of my deeply rooted insecurities I made a conscious decision to never allow myself to be defined by vanity but by who I was in Christ. I began going to church and realizing how much God loved me. I understood that I had a purpose that was far beyond me and I could no longer waste it by having a pity party.

Towards the end of my Junior year I became intrigued with makeup. I began exploring different looks and over the next couple of years I had become pretty decent. People would ask me about the lipsticks that I used and or about foundation and from here a conversation about my self-love journey would grow. The difference with me being invested in my appearance this time around was I knew my looks was not what defined me it enhanced me. The same thing that I once hated was now what I chose to use to draw people to me to share my testimony. Once in college I began mentoring middle school girls through an organization known as S.H.E (Successful, Helpful, Empowering), and like many young girls they wanted to speak about beauty, hair, and fashion. We spoke about all three, but we helped them understand that those three things was not who would make them who they were. It was their heart. We helped them understand that though society preaches that beauty is power the external part was not the only thing they should be concerned about. We must make sure that we are enhancing our beauty not only with concealed and blush for the outside appearance, but also doing the same with our hearts. That we are contouring, blending, and baking what's in the inside ( I wonder how many people will get that metaphor).