Learning how to say NO!
Raise your hand if you've been a victim to always saying YES!...yeah me too. I never realized how much of an "yes woman" I was until this year where I found myself overwhelmed with two executive positions, acting as a full time student, and holding a job. All because I could not find the strength to say no! I found myself becoming angry and even at times unmotivated. I did not want to do anything I didn't feel that it was fair that I had to strain myself to fulfill all of these obligations when there were people who were full capable of being in my position and had all the time in the world. WHY ME? I would ask myself continuously. One day I received a phone call from my advisor asking me to do something that was clearly in her job description not mine. It was not until I found myself saying yes before I realized I seriously had a problem disappointing people. I knew I had paper (that I had not if attempted to start on), an exam the next day, and an event to finish planning for that week, that all needed to be done, and yet again I was going to take on another assignment. Like seriously, What is wrong with me? Right after I said yes I had to correct myself and let her know that I actually could not do it due to my hectic schedule for that week already. This is how the conversation went.
Me: "Ms. *inserts name here* I actually will not have time to do the task at hand. After thinking about it I actually have a lot to do and I do not want to give you work that is not done to my full ability."
Her: Ok that's fine I don't have much to do tomorrow so I should be able to complete tomorrow.
I was shocked!! You mean to tell me that this whole time I struggled to say no it was that easy. We often are so afraid of the perceived outcome of a situation that it deters us from even attempting. I was so afraid of not disappointing others that I was willing to put myself in uncomfortable positions to ensure everyone else felt comfortable. That conversation with my advisor just help me realize that sometimes we need to not think to far into a situation and just take it for face value. I f you can not do it its ok to say NO you may not get the reaction you are dreading.
